Thief.

Anxiety is the thief of joy and hope. It tears apart your confidence and stomps on your dreams. Your mind swirls around in hopelessness. I believe it's an utterly spiritual thing. I also believe that I am plagued with it, and have been for as long as I can remember. I've never put a name to it, just shrugged it off as a character flaw, or chocked it up to being self-conscious. But no. I am so thankful that I don't have to be perfect or pretend to be. I think that's one thing that turns people away from Jesus - His followers acting like they have it all together. That is not me. I am a completely imperfect individual, with hope of a better future and eternity based on my savior's perfection. Nothing of my own accord. I struggle with anxiety. I wrestle with despair. But the power I have over it is to claim freedom in Christ over the spiritual forces that want to see me writhing in my own tears. I don't want to live life that way. I am free! I am free! The chains of my old life are gone. I am a new creation is Jesus and his perfect love. I am brought into his story of redemption and I get to play a tiny role in it, and point to him the whole time.

Don't ever let someone fool you into thinking they've got everything together.

Ahh!

Started my new job yesterday at the Fresno Heart & Surgical Hospital. It is so scary but I think I'll be good at it. It's overwhelming to think about all that I need to learn, and the shift I'm working so far is killer, but I am so thankful for a job. Please pray for me. I'm in a job situation that I've never encountered before, and I need all the confidence I can get.